Closing the Deal

The most important deal of my life.
I sat in the theater and watched "Made of Honor." It's about a guy, Tom, who sleeps around and then comes "home" to his best friend, Hannah. He brags about how he has a relationship with no commitment and can sleep with whoever he wants. He is a selfish jerk who can't even say I Love You to his dad. He realizes while Hannah is away that his life would be missing something if she were not in it and wants to tell her that but before he gets the chance she shows him the GIANT ROCK on her finger and the man she is going to marry in two weeks. She then asks Tom to be her Maid of Honor which he accepts only because he sees this as his only way to win her. The movie is great showing all of the funny things that happen when you are suppose to help the wedding go smoothly while all along you want it to never happen. Toward the end of the movie, The night before the wedding, he finally tells her that he want's to be with her and they kiss. She is a little shocked and upset but she realizes that she loves him, here is the problem. He still hasn't told her that he loves her. He can't say those words. She waits and even tells him that is what she needs but He won't say it. All he had to say was, "Hannah, I love you. I want nothing more than to be with you for the rest of my life." Period. Done. nothing more. She would have taken him and called off the wedding right then. But no what does he do? He says he "can't" be her Maid of Honor and leaves. He couldn't close the deal, he was a spineless chicken . I have had this happen to me and it has broken my heart. Watching this in the movie really started to get to me. I started to get mad, to think that men are all stupid heartless jerks. As I drove home I started to wish for someone to just tell me that He loved me so much that the ONLY thing he wanted was to be with me for the rest of his life. Then I heard it. "I told you that along time ago Amanda." " I told you that I Loved you and I wanted to be with you so much that I died so it could happen." Then it hit me, I couldn't close the deal. I was Tom. I wanted to lexuries of being a Christian and the good feelings of Following God when it was convienent. I wanted to be with Him but not only Him. I tried to put other things first. I have tried for so long to have the best of both worlds, but that movie helped me realize that sitting the fence doesn't work.I know it's going to be hard, because part of me longs for a husband, but I know that God want's me to himself first. If I give myself to him then He will be the one to say, "Amanda, I love you. I Love you for who you are, inside and out. I want to be with you forever, and I want nothing to seperate us." God that is what I want and Today I am going to reply with, I Love you Too and I want nothing more than YOU!!!